mom

1. Dirt doesn’t kill my kids and sometimes they eat it on purpose.
2. Playing in mud is what boys kids do.
3. Kids can mess up a room faster that I can clean it.
4. Kids can have a bath and still be sticky.
5. A certain child likes to use a whole bottle of baby shampoo in every bath.
6. Sometimes kids hide food in drawers (for later).
7. My kids don’t like to write on paper but they LOVE drawing on walls.
8. The meal I made last night, that the kids loved, they won’t touch today.
9. The shoes will always fit perfectly at the store, but never when you get them home.
10. My kids’ definition of clean is not the same as mine.
11. Food doesn’t belong in pockets because it turns kinda gross.
12. All the kids will need you as soon as you sit down to drink your coffee.
13. Someone will need their stinky bum changed just as dinner is being served.
14. You have to tell your kids what you expect from them EVERY SINGLE TIME you enter a store because they forget.
15. Marbles are not meant to be swallowed.
16. Lego doesn’t belong up your nose (and it’s hard to get out).
17. Kids will eat vegetables, straight out of the garden, with dirt on them, but not on their plate for dinner.
18. Boys will split the knees of every single pair of pants they own.
19. Sugar is hard to vacuum out of your favorite chair and so is flour.
20. Dumping out a whole bottle of pepper makes you sneeze and it hurts when you rub your eyes.
21. Dumping brown sugar into a bin of Lego makes Mommy throw out the Lego.
22. If the three year old can reach the fish food, she will dump the whole thing in the tank.
23. Climbing into your brother’s crib, knocking it over, and breaking it means that you sleep on the mattress on the floor.
24. Pulling all the stuffing out of your crib mattress means that you move to big beds too early.
25. Baby locks are hard for adults, but not 2 year olds.
26. Fridge locks don’t work.
27. Just as you get to sleep at night someone will wake up needing you.
28. You must learn to survive on 4-5 hours of sleep a night.
29. You must learn to power nap.
30. As soon as you go into the bathroom someone will need you.
31. If you don’t get up and make breakfast someone will make ham and mustard bagels on your blogging notebook.
32. God sends food in the mail (2 weeks ahead of time) because He knows you are going to need it.

What things have you learned as a mom?