Things I Have Learned As A Mom
- Dirt doesn’t kill my kids and sometimes they eat it on purpose.
- Playing in mud is what
boyskids do. - Kids can mess up a room faster that I can clean it.
- Kids can have a bath and still be sticky.
- A certain child likes to use a whole bottle of baby shampoo in every bath.
- Sometimes kids hide food in drawers (for later).
- My kids don’t like to write on paper but they LOVE drawing on walls.
- The meal I made last night, that the kids loved, they won’t touch today.
- The shoes will always fit perfectly at the store, but never when you get them home.
- My kids’ definition of clean is not the same as mine.
- Food doesn’t belong in pockets because it turns kinda gross.
- All the kids will need you as soon as you sit down to drink your coffee.
- Someone will need their stinky bum changed just as dinner is being served.
- You have to tell your kids what you expect from them EVERY SINGLE TIME you enter a store because they forget.
- Marbles are not meant to be swallowed.
- Lego doesn’t belong up your nose (and it’s hard to get out).
- Kids will eat vegetables, straight out of the garden, with dirt on them, but not on their plate for dinner.
- Boys will split the knees of every single pair of pants they own.
- Sugar is hard to vacuum out of your favorite chair and so is flour.
- Dumping out a whole bottle of pepper makes you sneeze and it hurts when you rub your eyes.
- Dumping brown sugar into a bin of Lego makes Mommy throw out the Lego.
- If the three year old can reach the fish food, she will dump the whole thing in the tank.
- Climbing into your brother’s crib, knocking it over, and breaking it means that you sleep on the mattress on the floor.
- Pulling all the stuffing out of your crib mattress means that you move to big beds too early.
- Baby locks are hard for adults, but not 2 year olds.
- Fridge locks don’t work.
- Just as you get to sleep at night someone will wake up needing you.
- You must learn to survive on 4-5 hours of sleep a night.
- You must learn to power nap.
- As soon as you go into the bathroom someone will need you.
- If you don’t get up and make breakfast someone will make ham and mustard bagels on your blogging notebook.
- God sends food in the mail (2 weeks ahead of time) because He knows you are going to need it.
What things have you learned as a mom?