Having Higher Expectations

Posted on October 19, 2011 by Honey

I realized something this week, I am guilty of always thinking that my kids can't do things. I am pretty sure this line of thought stems from Elisha's ADHD and autism and wanting to avoid stress added stress in our home.

When you have a child with ADHD or autism, you already have a complex child and you want to make life as simple and calm as possible. At least that is what we wanted to do. Even the simplest things would cause meltdowns in the past. All of these things below have caused some form of sensory issue for Elisha in the past.

putting on socks
putting on shoes
clothing needs to be simple and comfortable (no zippers or buttons)
change in routine
brushing teeth
bathing

Let me tell you, we have seen marked improvement in the past year and see little to no issues for most of these areas most of the time.

In the past, anytime that Elisha would try something new he would have a meltdown. We have seen this over and over again over the years. Instead of challenging him and pushing him to try new things, we avoided them. This was the best solution for us at the time, but I am rethinking that solution (for the season we are in now) because Elisha is coping with everyday things much more easily and I want to stretch him a little bit.

I have realized that we need to let the other kids surpass Elisha in whatever areas they need to. This has been a hard lesson for me grasp. I have always held it in my head that he is the oldest, so the other kids can't move on until he does, but this kind of thinking is only holding all the other kids back.

I have also realized that because Elisha has been allowed to get away with saying, "I can't," the other kids are starting to use that excuse too, before they even try. I want to curb that excuse now before it becomes paralyzing for them. They need to grow up believing they can do anything they set their minds to, but for some things they may just have to work harder than others.

These thoughts were on my mind because I instituted daily journal writing and two children complied, while one complained (and not the one you would think). While talking to our support teacher recently, I was inspired to have the kids work REALLY HARD on their printing this year. The idea that we came up with was a SIMPLE daily journal that would increase in difficulty through out the year.

For the first little while we are going to go back to basics and work on printing the date, our name, and ONE word. Now, before you think this is crazy for kids who are in 3rd, 5th, and 6th grades, let me tell you something. We do most of our work orally or with projects that require very little printing. Printing has always caused a great deal of stress (and we avoid stress, remember).

For Elisha the stress was due to fatigue. He has low muscle tone and his hand and arm get tired very quickly when he is printing. This is compounded by the need to hold the pencil tightly and push very hard so he has some sensory feedback.

For the other kids, I just didn't push hard. They would cry and say they couldn't and I would back off (because I had been conditioned to prevent the meltdowns). I am not saying that I was right or wrong to not push them, but we are now at the place where they need to be pushed, so that we can move forward. They need to master printing this year, it is as simple as that. We are going to take it one step at a time and see how far we can grow in our skills this year.

If this is something that your child/children struggle with, you might find it useful to print out this week's journal page and follow along with us on our journey.

journal 1

A Peek Into Our Life

Posted on September 14, 2011 by Honey

Whirlwind days start at the crack of dawn. I nurse the twins and then crawl back under the covers hoping for a few more minutes of sleep.

The big kids sneak downstairs to watch tv until the little people (the two 3 year olds) are finally awake. They drag daddy out of bed and he starts coffee and makes breakfast while I try to wake up. Usually it is the coffee that calls me out of bed, sometimes it is a cranky 11 year old with autism in a funk (that was this morning).

I am longing for the night when I can sleep just 4 hours IN A ROW without someone waking up needing me or some little person kicking me in my sleep.

We have finally purchased an alarm clock after living without one for the last 4 years. Who needs an alarm clock when you have 5 kids? Someone is surely to wake up and demand food when you would really rather sleep. The truth is, our kids have ALWAYS been early risers and if they sleep in then that's OKAY.

Some crazy woman (okay, me) decided that we needed to start getting up at 7am (what was I thinking?) in order to redeem our day.

I am SO looking forward to the alarm going off in 5 hours (not).

For the rest of September we are working on tweaking our morning routine (which, right now, is taking ALL day). It is no easy task commandeering this ship called a large homeschooling family.

We eat our breakfast while reading our Bible and talking about our missionaries and saying a prayer for the day. Today I even managed to sneak in a really beautiful worship song that I found last night and the kids actually enjoyed it.

Today was Tuesday and it was Elisha's Econ 101 and Gov 101 live classes with Founder's Academy at Currclick, so he joined us later in the day.

While we do our group work and discussions the twins must play happily (but quietly) in the room. The big boys must sit (and not hang upside down or tie themselves in knots) while we talk, read, and tend to our assignments. This is still a work in progress.

Before we even really get started some three year old (or both) wants to nurse and I am balancing my notebook in the air (it is heavy) and trying to keep things on track. (Just an FYI, we are trying to wean them, it's going well, HA).

After Bible we move on to History. We listen to some audios from MOH or AC, or read a bit. Then we move on to discussions and projects. There are so many fun projects in these two programs and we may very well take two years to complete Ancients.

Somewhere in here we stopped for homemade pizza (the dough was made during breakfast prep and rose all morning).

Today our History projects consisted of creating a new animal out of playdough. We had an interesting discussion about God creating everything out of nothing and where that nothing came from. Then the boys created self portraits (because we are created in the image of God).

Just when you think you know your kids, they throw you a curve ball. The child that I thought would complain his way through those projects dove in head first and finished with flying colors. My other two (creative kids) were stumped and fought me all the way. I was left scratching my head totally confused by the change in roles (don't mess with your mama's head like that!).

Science class follows our history class. Today we did an experiment for our year long Anatomy and Physiology class. We are in the process of mummifying an apple (I will let you know how it goes - it takes a week). We discussed the scientific method and started to write out our experiments when meltdowns began. No one likes writing (I am hoping to turn that around this year). Guess what we are doing tomorrow?

We didn't get to our second science class today (Our Planet Earth) because we ran out of time, but that's okay. We still had a relatively good day and there is always tomorrow.

Grandma (who is also our Special Education Assistant) took all the boys to the beach on this cold, cloudy afternoon.

I put the shake n bake chicken in the oven and then nursed the twins to sleep while Jonah went out with a friend. The twins had a nice and long 2 hour nap while the house was quiet

The big boys came home all wet and covered with sand (note to self - get wet sandy clothes out of the bathtub).

Daddy came home and was able to put the finishing touches on dinner because I was still pinned to the couch by sixty pounds of three year old.

Grandma and Grandpa came back for dinner. Hosanna was over the moon to visit them today and Zion slept through the whole thing.

The kids all played hard after supper. Did I mention when they play hard they are SO LOUD?

Then comes bedtime. All the kids settled well except the night owl eleven year old (Elisha) and the wild and crazy little three year old girl (Hosanna) who is apparently exactly like I was at that age.

Hosanna ran circles around me tonight and finally crashed around eleven, but Elisha was in and out of our room until well after midnight.

So, here I sit, it's after 2am (I am writing this for me just as much as for you). The alarm is going to wake me way earlier than I want it to. Our life is like a whirlwind when it starts in the morning and no matter how hard I try it continues until the last one is down at night (that's usually me).

What does a typical day look like at your house?

Weekly Wrap Up

Posted on April 22, 2011 by Honey

Spring might be officially here. If that were true, there would be many little people around here doing a happy dance. The weather has been beautiful, so we got outside and played some ball and picked some flowers while the OT worked with Elisha last Friday.

Zion playing ball.

Hosanna playing ball.

Hosanna picking flowers.

Another nice day and we were able to visit the park. Elisha complained about bark mulch in his holey sandals. Hosanna fell off the climbing bars and banged her head, but she was back in the game quickly (it was minor, thankfully). Zion stepped in poop with his bright red rubber boots.

Elisha at the park.

Moses just hanging out on the monkey bars.

Malachi balancing on the monkey bars.

Zion at the top of the slide.

Zion's red rubber boots that stepped in poop.

Hosanna climbing up the monkey bars.

A tender moment between twins.

On Thursday morning Elisha (11 - with autism) made oatmeal for breakfast and coffee for the big people. This was his first time ever making oatmeal. He asked me how to make and then he memorized the instructions and repeated them verbatim. He even enlisted the help of his younger brother (Malachi) to watch the stove while he went to the bathroom. This is a huge stride for us and made me feel like he may some day actually be able to live on his own.

Another first this week was when Elisha came up and gave me a hug and kissed me on the cheek. This makes a mother of a child of autism positively giddy. This child, at eleven, is only just now learning how to show emotion to someone else. It was just last year that he started writing I love you cards to Jonah and I and the grandparents. We are making progress. Slow and steady.

Oh yeah, about our school work. We have been plugging along with our school work and making decent progress. Some days it feels like the same old same old and I can't wait to change things up for next year.

I am linking up this post with the Weekly Wrap-Up.